Successful Aging

It's pretty hard to defy gravity if your body and mind are going down hill, so here's a quick overview of what I've learned over the past decade about successful aging:

• In 10 years, 1 out of 5 people will be over 65. 
• The stereotype of old people as hard of hearing and stooped over with a cane is just that—a stereotype.
• Being old is not the same as being sick.  
• What is normal in old age is much more variable than what is normal at, say, 30.
• At any age, it’s normal to have some trouble with memory.  It's all a matter of degree.
• Successful aging is not largely dependant on genes.  Our habits are more important than our DNA.
• The most important thing we can do to help our memory, cognition, mood and sleep is to exercise at least a 1/2 hour every day.  Vacuuming, gardening, walking—all count as exercise.

61-Year Old Swimmer Holds Head Up High

Yesterday, in a stretch of sea half-way between Cuba and Key West, 61-year old marathon swimmer Diana Nyad abandoned a dream.  

Ms. Nyad's quest was to complete the 60-hour, 103-mile journey without a shark cage.  For two years she had been in training, swimming 12 hours every other day and lifting weights in between.  Years before, at the age of 29, she had set a record for the longest ocean swim:  102.5 miles from Bimini to Jupiter, FL.  Now she was determined to set another.  She wanted to show people that life isn’t over at 60.  “People  my age must try to live vital, energetic lives,” she told Don Van Natta of the NYT.  "We're still young.  We're not our mothers' generation at 60."

Use It Or Lose It

Show me a group of healthy and vibrant “super seniors,” and I’ll show you a group of people who regularly  exercise.  Like Art White, the ninety-nine year old I recently interviewed for my TV show, these individuals might not use the “e” word to describe what they do to keep moving, but move they do.  Yoga master Tao Porchon-Lynch (see below) is a perfect example of this and an inspiration to anyone who needs a little push to get off the couch.

The Force of Habit

Even though personality stabilizes by 20 and is virtually solidified by 50, this doesn't mean that all opportunity for growth stops in midlife. No matter what your age, it's still possible to change some of those habits that are holding you back from fulfilling your dreams.

In a new book titled Making Sense of People:  Decoding the Mysteries of Personality, leading neuroscientist Samuel Barondes cites the example of Benjamin Franklin. 

From his early twenties until he died at 85, Franklin worked to "guard...against the unremitting attraction of ancient habits and the force of perpetual temptations."

Art White: Part 3

I've been busy this week creating a new website for the TV show I do (www.ageless-tv.com) and uploading clips to it.  Here's one of me interviewing Art White, the 99-year old I've been blogging about the past two weeks.  If a picture is worth a thousand words, a video is priceless.  Today I'm meeting with an equally active 99-year old woman.  Stay tuned!

Art White, 99

Art White changed my life last week.  How?  By replacing my mom as my primary role model for aging.

As loyal readers of this blog know, my mom is now 88.  She still lives alone, still walks every day, still reads voraciously (she just finished Ann Patchett’s newest book State of Wonder), still laughs at the slightest provocation and still has a killer wink that melts me every time I see it.  She sounds amazing, right?

But that’s only part of the picture.  Besides fighting breast cancer and a brain tumor, she’s also increasingly frail and unsure on her feet.  Everywhere we go, I hold her hand to keep her from toppling over.  Oh, and did I mention that she’s almost totally deaf?  I see her practically every day and invariably think to myself, “Is this what I’m going to be like in 30 years?"

So when I interviewed Art White last Monday for my TV show, he gave me needed hope.  Yes, I might end up being as deaf and frail as my mom, but it's also possible that I could remain as active as Art.

Here's a sampling of Art's responses, some given on-air, some in the Green Room before the show.

Questions for a 99-Year Old

This past Monday I had a remarkable guest on my TV show.  His name is Art White, and he's turning 99 this coming Friday.  Somehow Art has managed to outlive the vast majority of his peers and stay astonishingly active.  Since retiring at age 95 from his third career, he still bowls twice a week, does Tai Chi once a week, plays bridge four times a week, eats anything he wants and takes no pills--not even vitamins.  He's aiming to be 110.

To prepare for the interview, I went on Facebook and asked my "friends" to post questions for Art.  I heard from people all over the U.S.  I even got a reply from a woman in London, England.  Most of the respondents are middle-aged, but one is in her twenties and two are in their seventies.

Next week I'll relay some of Art's answers, but first I thought it would be interesting to pass along the questions and give you a chance to answer them yourself.  If you keep a journal, you might consider addressing one a day.  Why wait until you're 99?

The Longevity Paradox

I'm worried about aging.  There, I said it.  I might be the Defying-Gravity gal, but I'm as afraid as the next person of outliving my money, my loved ones and perhaps even my usefulness.

Keep in mind that I'm luckier than most--a member of an all-too-exclusive group of people who have investments, health insurance and an extensive, multigenerational support network.  An alarming percentage of my close friends lack at least one of the three, and I can't even count the number of my acquaintances for whom retirement is not even an option.

What I'm getting at is that as much as I believe in letting our passions guide us as we segue from one stage of life to another, I realize that heroic reinvention is still the exception rather than the rule.

Part of the problem is that boomers are caught in a longevity paradox.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today I turn fifty-seven.  A lot of people my age aren’t that keen on getting older, but I’m jazzed about my birthday coming around again.  I'm still breathing!  Other than experiencing some annoying hot flashes and an increasing number of arthritic joints, I’m happier now than I can remember ever having been.  Of course, my mind these days is like a sieve, and the fact that I can’t recall ever having been in a better headspace might just mean that my memory isn't what it used to be.  (Ha!)

Anyway, each year on my birthday I review my calendar to see what I’ve been up to during the past twelve months.  In case you're curious, here’s the raw data from 2010-2011.

The Big Shift

If you’re a boomer contemplating a life change, Marc Freedman’s newest book The Big Shift:  Navigating the New Stage Beyond Midlife is a must-read.  Not only is the writing unusually clear and compelling for this genre but Freedman presents a provocative idea.  As the press release I received with my review copy states:

Freedman's book is an impassioned call for breaking free from old habits like clinging to lost youth ("60 is the new 40"), or prematurely aging people long before their time (senior discounts at 50 or 60).  It's time to accept the decades opening up between midlife and anything approximating old age for what they really are, Freedman says--an entirely new stage of life.

A boomer himself and the father of two toddlers (yes, you read that right), Freedman isn't just spewing hot air.  As the founder of Civic Ventures, cofounder of both The Purpose Prize and Experience Corps, and author of several other books including Encore:  Finding Work That Matters in the Second Half of Life, Freedman is a towering expert in the field of midlife transition.  The New York Times calls him "the voice [emphasis mine]of aging baby boomers who are eschewing retirement for meaningful and sustaining work later in life.”  

This book shows why Freedman deserves this kind of praise.

Healthy Aging: As Old As We Feel

Today's post was contributed by Mary Albert, a blogger for happyhealth.net, which is an innovative senior lifestyle/health portal targeting baby boomers and their parents.  The site contains four pillars to lifestyle happiness as well as a section reviewing and rating medical alert systems.  But before reading Mary's post, here's a 1 min. 37 sec. video I shot in my office yesterday on the subject of healthy aging.  I'm in the process of learning how to use iMovie and, frankly, just wanted to practice. 


And now, here's Mary's post:
When it comes to retirement, there are a lot of ways that people choose to spend their time. Since I've been doing training and exercise my entire life, I naturally tend to focus more on the fun aspect of retirement: playing sports, getting involved in recreational events, and doing anything that involves being physically and socially active. After all, this is the encore to your working life. It is your time to get out there and have fun to make up for all the work that you've done. Why not have that fun by playing sports or joining a team or club in the community?

The Longevity Project

Taking it easy can subtract years from your life.

That’s just one of the surprising conclusions reached by health scientists Howard S. Friedman and Leslie R. Martin, authors of The Longevity Project.  What’s even more surprising is that having a sustained work life correlates with living longer, even if the work you do is stressful.

Here's a short video of the authors explaining the scope of the Project: 

The book is filled with lots of other interesting, counter-intuitive tidbits about what sorts of behaviors increase longevity and it's well worth a read.

Still, the authors’ findings about work disturbed me.  I’m all for staying active and remaining on the job if your work gives you pleasure and a sense of purpose.  But I worry that books like this one and, dare I say, Defying Gravity, have the unintended effect of making people feel guilty about wanting to slow down and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

Besides, when did a long life become a goal in itself?

I don’t particularly care how old I am when I die.  What I care about is trying to make the world a better place and enjoying myself while I’m at it.  

What about you?

Remind me who I am

Stanley Kunitz won the Pulitzer Prize at the age of 63, became the United States Poet Laureate at 95 and published his last book in 2005 when he was 99 years old.  He died the following year at age 100.  His passion for language and his powers of observation were every bit as acute at the twilight of his career as they were at the dawn.

Kunitz was fortunate that his faculties never failed him.  I'm not sure to what degree his genetic makeup and health habits contributed to his vitality, but his work as both a poet and an avid gardener clearly sustained him.

"Touch Me" is the final poem in his Collected Poems.  With Valentine's Day coming up next Monday and spring right around the corner, today felt like the perfect time to share it.  If you read to the end, you'll understand why I titled this post "Remind me who I am."

The above video was filmed in 2002 at the Geraldine R. Dodge Poetry Festival.  Here's the text of the poem:

Baby Boomers in Bloom

Last week, I reviewed Kay Marshall Strom's newest book The Second-Half Adventure: Don’t Just Retire--Use Your Time, Skills & Resources to Change the World.  This week, she's my guest-blogger.  To find out more about Kay--for starters, she's the author of 36 published books and an in-demand speaker--check out her website (kaystrom.com) and/or her blog (kaystrom.wordpress.com). 

Baby Boomers in Bloom

Inside every baby boomer zipping toward senior-dom is a thirty-five-year-old asking, “Hey, what happened?”  

Drumming at 50

Almost everywhere I look these days, I see articles about people over 50 who are tossing aside their preconceptions about aging and shaking off the weight of their ideas of who they are and what they can still accomplish.  (Talk about defying gravity!)  What started out as a trickle back in 2000 has become a flood.  Right now, sitting on my desk are sixteen stories from the past week that either I've found on my own or others have emailed me.

My favorite is this little snippet I found yesterday in the "The Mail" section of the March/April 2010 issue of AARP magazine.  It's a letter to the editor from a woman named Marla Stahl from Clarksville, Maryland:

"The year I turned 50, I took drum lessons and later became the drummer in a band.  I have been rocking ever since!  Yes, a white-haired lady playing the drums makes folks do a double take, but I am still energetic, happy, productive, and dare I say it, even cute!  [That's my favorite line.] In many ways this is the most fun I've had in my life.  Thanks for confirming that just because we're over 50 doesn't mean we're dead!"

Alice's 12 Commandments

I'm not a big fan of New Year's resolutions, but here's some lovely advice from a  90+ year old woman named Alice, a friend of a friend:

1. Thou shall be joyful.
2. Thou, please love thyself first.
3. Now, love others.
4. Love thy children as thyself.
5. Don't stay in relationships without joy.
6. Witness the seasons and love the hot and the cold.
7. Make a temple of your body and psyche so you can dwell there and renew.
8. Be kind of animals; they are our ancestors.
9. Don't be tribal; love all cultures.
10. Share yourself, your joys and sorrows.
11. Life is so finite; spend your time wisely.
12. Be grateful for the opportunity to serve.

What Makes Us Happy?

I first read Joshua Wolf Shenk's riveting Atlantic magazine article "What Makes Us Happy?" last June and re-read it yesterday upon finding it on a Top Ten Best Articles of 2009 list.  

The following video clip is of George Vaillant, longtime director of the longitudinal, comprehensive Harvard study of mental and physical well-being upon which the article is based, speaking about the insights he and his fellow researchers gained from following 268 men for 72 years.  Lots of great food for thought here for aspiring bloomers.

Brain Health & Happiness

Todd Heisler/The New York Times

We earthlings have five basic ways we learn:

• Observation
• Imitation
• Experimentation
• Reading
• Being taught

And since keeping our minds active increases not only our enjoyment of life but our mental health as we age, it makes sense to do everything we can to (1) heighten our powers of observation (bird watching, anyone?); (2) seek out role models to imitate; (3) experiment in the boardroom, bedroom, kitchen, garden, etc.; (4) read widely; (5) and take classes in anything and everything that tickles our fancy.

Speaking of keeping our minds young and enjoying life, I loved this profile of Carmen Herrara (photo above), which appeared on the front page of yesterday's New York Times:  "At 94, She's the Hot New Thing in Painting, and Enjoying It".  If you've got a sec, it's worth a read.

Leannette, Age 107

The oldest woman I know turns 107 this week. Her name is Leannette, and she was a mere 106 when I met her two weeks ago at the Watermark, a Connecticut retirement community where I was giving a talk.

(In the photo above, which was taken that day, Leanette is the one sitting in the foreground.)

Although her teeth give her trouble and she’s hard of hearing, Leanette still knits, still gets around on her own two feet, and is still an active member of the Watermark.

What most impressed me about Leannette, though, is how forward thinking she is. When I asked the 50 or so women in the room to take 30 seconds to jot down as many things as they could think of that they'd still love to do in their lives, Leanette had the longest list.

Website for Women Over 50

I just came across a great new website: www.goldivas.com. Its tagline--"for women over 50 who are too young to be old"--says it all. The site is attractive, easy to navigate and features postings on such varied topics as careers, creative living, beauty, fashion, fiction/poetry, fitness/health, money, technology and travel.