Walking Through Fear

I'm in the middle of a whirlwind of guests, speeches and travel, and too busy to keep up with my regular, weekly blogging.  Until my life calms down again, I'm going to be reprising some of my favorite posts from the past.  This one is from October 21, 2006.  In hindsight, I'm happy to report that I wasn't crazy to try my hand at fiction.  Even if my novel still isn't ready for prime time, I wrote my way to the end and had an incredible time immersing myself in the creative process.  And, yes, every day I still practice walking through fear.  

We’re all afraid.

If we’re not anxious about getting senile or going broke, we’re worried that our children will start using drugs or that we’ll end up as one-hit wonders.

It doesn’t matter how accomplished, brilliant and beautiful we are. Fear comes with the territory of being human. And the better we are at navigating through it, the more comfortable we feel in our skins and surroundings.

Facing fear also goes hand-in-hand with realizing our dreams. That’s why for the past six years, beginning the morning I got the inspiration to write my first book, I’ve been trying to do one bold thing a day. Anything that scares me, that makes my stomach go up and down or causes my breath to catch in my throat, qualifies. Cold calling a radio producer, speaking before a large audience, saying no to an unwelcome invitation—I count them all. I’ve even given myself credit for trying gorgonzola cheese. (The smell alone frightens me!)

Today's guest post is by Tamara Elizabeth, author of the self-help book Fabulously Fifty:

Moving Forward Through a Midlife Transition 

In the first 50 years of my fabulous life, I wore many hats in different styles, sizes and colors.  All were neatly stored in the hatbox called motherhood.  I have raised a total of seven children and have loved every moment.  I wouldn’t trade any of them for a paid career.  But at the midpoint of my journey, with all my children grown and gone, I found myself asking one simple question: “What do I want to do when I grow up?”

Most of us have made the mistake of attaching our worth to others at some point in our lives, and I am no different.  Now I felt stuck in my journey - one of my dainty size 7 stilettos firmly planted in the past and the other cemented right in front of me.  How could I move forward?

As I "shopped for one" in the fruit section, I reflected on my worries.  Suddenly, I imagined myself as an orange, that amazing miracle of Mother Nature which grows on a tree with a face full of sunshine.  I decided right then and there that my life was no longer just a pile of orange pieces--some full of pits that choked my desires and goals; others as dry as cardboard because I hadn't drunk enough from the abundance this wonderful universe had provided me.

Bearing Witness

Here's a post I wrote on 9/11/08. I can't believe ten years have passed:

On a crystal clear morning eight years ago today, my husband and I were sitting in our car at a beach in Greens Farms, Connecticut, watching the Twin Towers burn. We couldn’t see the flames, but from across Long Island Sound we could see plumes of smoke blackening the sky. Minutes earlier on television we'd watched in horror as the towers came down, the debris cascading through the canyons of lower Manhattan.

At one time my husband had an office at the World Trade Center, but I only knew one person who was there that day—a friend who was working at her desk on the 83rd floor when the second plane hit. She made it out. I didn't know a single soul who died.

Even so, I cried every day for months. The New York Times ran a regular feature titled "Portraits of Grief" to commemorate the victims of the attack. Perhaps I would have been less emotional had I not been a regular reader of the section. In all, 140 reporters spent more than a year writing brief portraits of more than 2,400 of that day’s roughly 2,800 victims, bearing witness to their lives.

The stories are heartstopping. Each one beckons us, the living, to be braver with our dreams.

Successful Aging

It's pretty hard to defy gravity if your body and mind are going down hill, so here's a quick overview of what I've learned over the past decade about successful aging:

• In 10 years, 1 out of 5 people will be over 65. 
• The stereotype of old people as hard of hearing and stooped over with a cane is just that—a stereotype.
• Being old is not the same as being sick.  
• What is normal in old age is much more variable than what is normal at, say, 30.
• At any age, it’s normal to have some trouble with memory.  It's all a matter of degree.
• Successful aging is not largely dependant on genes.  Our habits are more important than our DNA.
• The most important thing we can do to help our memory, cognition, mood and sleep is to exercise at least a 1/2 hour every day.  Vacuuming, gardening, walking—all count as exercise.

Keeping Alzheimer's at Bay

Today’s post was written and sent to me by Allison Gamble:

Keeping Alzheimer’s at Bay

As we get older, many of us ask ourselves:  Will my hearing diminish?  Will I need bifocals?  Will my hips and knees hold out?  And scariest of all:  Will my mind stay sharp?

Interestingly, the authors of a recent study published by the American Academy of Neurology discovered that symptoms of Alzheimer’s are less noticeable in people over 80 than in the 60-75 age range.  At any age, however, the fact remains that Alzheimer’s is a devastating disease that can quickly short circuit our dreams.

The good news is that we can take preventative steps now to reduce our chances of losing cognitive function later. Though there’s no definitive lifestyle that can prevent Alzheimer’s, numerous studies have demonstrated that getting regular exercise, plenty of omega-3 fatty acids and lots of mental stimulation can help keep the disease at bay.